Update on my bro, dad, garden, support group, and ladybugs!

So I don’t know if I have posted on the progress of what has happened since I got in touch with my brother and dad.

For those who don’t know: I always knew I had a half brother, but never met him (except when I was a baby, apparently) and didn’t even really remember his name since my dad told me about him when I was about 7. As far as my dad goes, last time I saw him or talked to him was towards the end of my freshman year of high school. My dad was never really in my brother’s life either, but my brother got in touch with him after wanting to get to know his biological father and when they met, my dad told my brother about me and my sister, his half-sisters. He got in touch with us, I got in touch with my dad again through him… and here we are now.

Okay, so my brother came out here to Vegas with his two roommates to visit us! It was great meeting him and spending a few days together. We talk on a regular basis now, if not every day then about every other day, via texting, IMing online, and talking on the phone. We’ve learned quite a bit about each other in the short amount of time we know each other and are getting closer each day. I really love having a brother! Unfortunately I missed all the annoying growing-up experiences that apparently go along with having a brother. Ah well… He’s in my life now and it’s really great.

As for my dad, things are still a bit iffy. We have exchanged emails a few times and he recently got a MySpace and added my sister and I. He mentioned it would be nice if we came out to see him sometime this summer to catch up in person and all that. I think it would be nice, too, but I’d have to find time and find a way to get out there. We haven’t caught up that much, maybe there isn’t much to catch up on … I don’t know.

I definately would like to go see my brother again, so if we go to see our dad then I’d try and stop by to see him, too.

I think I already mentioned that having my brother in my life now has already altered my attitude towards men. I grew up in a house full of women, and have never really been around men regularly at any point in my life. When I was, they were negative experiences, such as with my mom’s abusive boyfriends and such. The only positive male figure I have ever had in my life is my Papa, and I’ve only started to get to know him in the last couple of years. But I don’t see guys as this whole other species anymore. I used to feel extremely disconnected from them, like they weren’t even people or something. Because I’ve never, ever known a guy closely. But getting to know my brother has started to change that. I feel more comfortable around guys and find it easier to just see them as another person. I know this all probably sounds really strange … but this is just how my experiences has been since I haven’t been around men my whole life. I mean, I have… but like I said, not closely, not intimately, not in a way that really impacted my life. I never really even had male friends. I played with my mom’s best friend’s sons when I was like ages 10 and under, until we moved out of state, but I was so young… it didn’t have a lasting impact as I grew up and “came of age”. So all my friends were always girls. I had one good male friend in 5th grade, but we didn’t keep in touch after going to middle school. There were lots of guys who were interested in me as I got older, but I never connected with them and always pushed them away, not giving them the time of day, even when I watend to, mostly just because I didn’t know how to.

So yeah, this has impacted my life in many positive ways. I hope that me further developing my relationship with my dad can continue this positive impact that getting in touch with my brother has started.

Besides that, my herb garden I tried to get going this year (again) has died (again). Like I told my brother yesterday, no plant is safe with me! And it’s quite sad, really. Because I really would love to have a garden and tend to them every day and dry herbs and learn about them and use them in cooking and magical applications. But I just can’t seem to keep a damn thing alive! The only thing I’ve been able to keep alive is a piece of bamboo my girlfriend bought me. And that was only on my second try. The orginal one died and I had to buy another one to put in the orginal container which I have managed to do well with.

I’m going to try and get serious this year about learning about herbs and taking care of plants. Hey… this just came to mind: I should look into taking some kind of 101 class at my college about gardening or something. That might help me out. Ya, I’ll look into that… but until then, I need to learn all I can about my specific interest in what I want to grow, so I can really do it right this next Spring. If anyone knows anything about gardening, specifically container gardening… let me know, please! I’d love to have someone to go to that I can ask specific questions and stuff.

Oh, unfortunately my summer class schedule interferes with me going to support group with D. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it when I scheduled the class. Last night she went without me for the first time. I hate missing it because I learn so much when I’m there, and I have gotten to be really interested and caring about the people there. She said last night was great, I’m so upset that I have to miss it… But I’ll be able to go for two weeks after the summer semseter is over, and then it’s off to Chicago to see my grandparents for three weeks. I’ll miss a TON duing that time! D: Oh well, what’s done is done…

That’s pretty much it for what’s going on in my life right now. There is a programe about Ladybugs that I want to take my niece to later on in the month. It’s called Lovely Ladybug, for kids 2-6 to learn about ladybugs, have hands-on experience with them and do a craft. She can misbehave sometimes, though, and I get nervous about that because I’m not her mother so I don’t know how to handle it. Her mother doesn’t even handle it that well, so where does that put me? I’d love to take her, but I’m a bit hesitant when I think about the possibility of her acting up how she does sometimes… But maybe she wouldn’t and she’d just enjoy it and it would be a good time. I guess there is no way to know unless we just go and find out. We’ll see…

Peace.

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